Many (Happy?) Returns

I seem to frequently encounter historical re-enactors at the various events and attractions I visit. I wouldn’t say it’s a LOT, but it’s definitely an above average amount, especially if you just count the people reading this post.

There’s a couple of different types of historical re-enactors. (1) People that pretend to actually live in the time they are recreating and refuse to acknowledge that it’s the 21st century. They are weird and I avoid at all costs. (2) People that appreciate the skills and craftsmanship of the old days and are trying to preserve them because they think it’s a better (functionally, environmentally, morally, or some other reason) way of doing things and low-key hope we can go back to it. And (3) People that understand how difficult life and work was in the past and the sheer effort it took to do almost anything so they demonstrate it to modern audiences so they appreciate what they have and don’t go backwards.

This post is about my recent milestone birthday, the year in review, and generally the state of the world in 2025.

I Don’t Believe in Astrology, BUT…pt 1

So I’m 50 now. I don’t know what I thought turning 50 would feel like but it’s been a little anticlimactic, to be honest. Which not to say it’s bad! Quite the opposite. I haven’t been this physically or emotionally healthy in years, if ever. I’m secure and comfortable, for many meanings of the word.

I wondered if there was a middle age version of The Return of Saturn. (And possibly if there was a pop punk ska record to help me process.). There is! An astrological phenomenon, that is, not an album. It’s called a Chiron Return.

You can do some reading on it or ask Chatty G, but basically during the Chiron Return, you gain new perspective on your past and feel more able to tackle the future.

That tracks. I feel like I have a good understanding of who I am, what’s happened in the past, and I have a lower than ever tolerance for bullshit. I suspect like many things in astrology, this is a pretty common and natural emotional progression for this age range and someone matched it to an astronomical event.

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s Maybeline perimenopause.

I think part of my anticlimactic reaction to turning 50 is that I have been preparing for this for at least 2 years. I saw where I was on my 48th birthday and while I wasn’t unhappy, I saw things I wanted to change. So I did. My life isn’t perfect and there’s some things that could be better but…that’s in some ways the point?

If there’s one thing I learned over the past 50 years that has really come into focus over the past 2 it’s that…life is the work you do to get to the goal, not the goal. Yes, I know, my profound realization about life - Life is the journey not the destination - can be found on a mug on a shelf next to the “Live Laugh Love” ones. I never claimed to NOT be a basic bitch.

Making Other Plans

One place that this really has become focused for me is my life with my dad. I think most of you know that we live together and he’s had some (standard for an 83 year old) health challenges over the past few years. I could probably do …more… stuff (career or otherwise) if I wasn’t his primary caretaker and some people have actually suggested that I put him in a home so I could “go back to living my life.”

That’s not an option.

(1) I promised him (and more importantly I promised my mother when she told me she was sick) that I would take care of him (2) if I did put him in a home, he would either break out or they would send him back within 24 hours because he’s so fucking weird (3) what kind of life is a life when you don’t take time and space to…care for others? That it’s all selfish experiences? What’s the point?

(Obviously this is not meant as a jab at people who are not capable of providing care for others and have had to seek outside help. Sometimes that is the best choice. Everyone’s life is different.)

Somewhat related - or maybe it’s only related in the way my mind works - I have tried a lot of various artistic endeavors over the past few years. Am I actually good at any of them? Not really. Have I completed a lot of projects? No. But do I care? Also, no.

This letter from Kurt Vonnegut to a high school class in 2006 spells it out..

Ancient Greeks had two words for the concept of time. Chronos, which is the chronological passage of time, and Kairos, which is more about seizing opportunity and qualitative experiences rather than linear time. (And Vonnegut, quite famously, played around with concepts of time in Slaughterhouse Five.) But you can’t get to these moment of kairos unless you are trying new things and experimenting and providing yourself with opportunities to experience them. Even if most of the time it feels not fun.

Wait…Sarah, are you saying “the more you practice, the luckier you get”? Yes, yes I am. Apparently I have been on this earth for 50 years and all I have to show for it is inspirational poster-level analysis.

But you know where I’m going with this…

We live in an age when more and more people - especially young people - are being told that AI can replace most creative endeavors and (more importantly) creative workers. And I’m here to tell you it can’t.

A few years ago, even before generative AI, I remember someone saying about Silicon Valley types chasing artistic accomplishments “they don’t want to write, they want to have written a book.” And I’m haunted by that. Because we’re now living in a time where that’s possible. And it’s sucks.

I can’t believe I have to say this but the value of art is in the creative process. Uncovering methods and expression of thoughts and feelings. And for the audience, the value is in seeing the human underneath the chosen medium and finding connection, sometimes across cultures or time.

Once again, I am not perfect. I am guilty of seeking out “background tv” as anyone else instead of fully engaging with the creative work I consume. Sometimes you want a five course gourmet meal and sometimes you just want to house a bag of cool ranch Doritos. And I even have the controversial view that at some point creative prompting can be considered an art form. But only if it’s based in a human processing their reality.

And it’s not just art. From doing regular life tasks to social media algorithms to forming relationships with artificial beings, people are abdicating entire swaths of their life to the decision making power of technology. (Which is actually the decisions of a select and limited group of people who own and create the technology, which is a whole other problem.) It’s terrible when a person who doesn’t have any chronos or kairos backing them up to help evaluate what they’re seeing but even if they do, these muscles atrophy over time.

I know what you’re thinking. “Sarah, are we ever going to circle back to the historical reenactment thing?” Honestly? I kind of forgot that I started with that. This post has been drafted over a few days while I was trapped in a blizzard in Michigan.

But since you brought it up…long story short, some things can be replaced or augmented by technology and some should never be for many reasons not the least of which is that we will lose the ability to go back to doing it and I don’t think enough people are considering the difference between the two. There’s a whole bunch to unpack with this on the professional front as well as the personal, but this post is going to be too long as it is.

But I get it, I do. Thinking is…hard. Caring is…hard. And the world…is a very hard place to live in currently.

One of the many blog posts that I didn’t write this year was about my theory that the dependence on and awe of Gen AI is basically a modern version of the 19th and 20th century spiritualist movements. Short version: whenever the world experienced unimaginable tragedies and hardship, people latched onto the idea of wisdom from beyond giving them the answers.

Just think about that the next time someone tells you something ChatGPT “told” them.

I also think the same need that causes this dependency on technology also makes strong man governments seem appealing, especially when they enforce a social order that places you on top of the pecking order. The one thing that I can’t decide is if the current dependence on technology and the rise of fascism are symptoms of the same problem or the cause of it or if it even matters at this point.

“Veronica you look like Hell.” “Yeah? I just got back.”

Back in 2016, a meme appeared where people showed how the year had changed them.

(How adorable that we thought 2016 was as bad as it could get.)

My trajectory of the past year or so requires a triptyc.

I mean, I knew it would be bad. But it exceeded even my expectations.

And I think the worst part was watching how many people and institutions either refused to acknowledge what was happening or fully capitulated or participated in it.

But I think the end is in sight, even if we haven’t fully hit rock bottom. For many reasons, and not just what I’m about to post…

I Don’t Believe in Astrology, BUT…pt 2

I try to practice “hope as a discipline.” I have to believe that as bad as things are now, they will be better. Sometimes I find solace in the concept of external damnation for everyone responsible for this. Sometimes I think about how we can rebuild all the things that have been broken (and were not great and susceptible to breaking) in a better way. And sometimes that means taking enjoyment and giving just a teeny tiny bit of credence to silly things like this circa 2007 horoscope for the United States.

Seriously, read it.

The Chatty G summary - by which I mean by me, Chatty Glassmeyer - is this: Pluto is on a 250 year return cycle like Saturn or Chiron. Buckle up for the 250th birthday of the United States. The choice quote:

“The greatest time of upheaval will be between 2015 and 2019, when the square of Uranus in Aries to Pluto in Capricorn will create the seeds of revolution everywhere. Forces of repression are going to clamp down even harder on those who want to speak their minds.

Then, in the years 2023–25, the final stages of the Pluto return and the Capricorn effect will reach a climax. Some astrologers believe that an empire lasts no longer than one Pluto cycle, and by 2025 this cycle will be played out. And no matter how you look at it, the U.S.A. is an empire…

…The Pluto return of 2025 will demand a redefinition of the United States and create the ultimate identity crisis. We will have to put ourselves on the line, as we did in the 1770s.

The period of turbulence that lies before us all in America is not God's wrath or the work of radical Muslims, and it has nothing to do with the hole in the ozone layer. It is a necessary and inevitable step in the evolution of this country that will result in a reworking of the Constitution in the last half of the 2020s.”

Girl.

GIRL.

On to 2026…

Okay, let’s wrap this up…

In summary, life and art and everything is about the process, not the result. So what does that mean for my 2026?

• Honestly, as terrible as everything is externally in the world, I’m pretty happy with my physical and mental health progress, so I’d like to continue that. I have some scale goals as well as some non scale victories I’d like to see.

• I meant to go to Europe last year for a vacation but the timing felt wrong. I have a trip on the books for 2026, so that’s a tick already on the list. But the goal will be to experience and learn not just mindlessly wander through landmarks to say I did it.

• I want to try and do more external professional work, either conference speaking or writing for outside outlets or podcast appearances. Above trip to Europe is doing double duty as a conference speaking gig so double check.

• I’ve fallen out of the habit of writing here, and I’d like to get back to more posting. This year was so busy at work plus with everything falling apart in the world, I never felt like I could take the time. But if I can book out time to go to the gym, I can book out time to write. Writing above all helps me process and there’s so many things to process now….

• Related - is this the year I figure out how to do a podcast?

• Finally, in addition to continue creating, I’d like to more consciously consume art from others. Another of the many blog posts I didn’t write this year was about my trip to NYC MOMA in…MARCH??? I need more fuel for my personal inspiration bank.

I hope your 2025 wasn’t too terrible and you’re able to make your 2026 into everything you want.

Be well,

Sarah